Finding Common Ground on Contested Ground

Yesterday, I attended an NFL football game with some family and friends: Pittsburgh Steelers at the Washington (DC) Commanders; and we tailgated in the stadium parking lot with thousands of fans starting at 9:30am. I report this because I also wish to report that the highly partisan fans of both teams got along just fine.

Everyone wears their allegiance on their sleeves, not to mention their faces, cars, trucks, and toddlers. Many have partisan team flags flying from their trucks. And so, of course . . .

Passions were high because both teams are at the top of their divisions. It was an exciting, but tough, emotional game. The final score was 28-27. Opposing fans sat side-by-side and fully ‘shared’ their highs and lows, and their differences. A couple of guys started to get pretty frustrated and animated with one another. They were a row and 6-8 seats apart. People began to worry a bit. One of the guys got up and left. He came back with two beers and handed one of them to the other guy. They were hugging at the end of the game.

Of course, this isn’t always the case. There will occasionally be some sort of unpleasantness. But the old days of brawls and thuggery are gone. The fans now know that being at least civil is the norm; and stadiums and teams reinforce that — and cultivate even better than that — with lots of feel-good promotions, helpful staffing, and even numbers to text or call in real-time if someone is interfering with your enjoyment of the game. But almost always, now, people follow and help to normalize good behavior and sportsmanship.

I believe it when many say that we are not as irreconcilably polarized as some leaders want us to be. And I believe that, most of the time, we know this. We see this every day — never more clearly, perhaps, than in the hard-charging, highly partisan-by-design, environments of sports.

All team fan-bases consist of MAGA and non-MAGA people, black and white, wealthy and poorer, young and old, etc. — a fairly representative sample of us. Fans can be extremely partisan and loyal to their teams. And whether fanatical or fan-casual, fans cheer and gasp and ‘live and die’ together in these contests. This is true in all sports and in many other activities as well.

It’s called having fun.

We often seek-out experiences and allegiances where passion and loyalty are the norm. But most of the time, as living has become less precarious, we seek and find, at a minimum, ways to “live and let live” together.

That’s called being free.

But here we are, living in a moment where our natural inclinations towards fandom, loyalty, and community have been driven to hyper-polarized extremes.

What drives us to extremes? In my experience, it’s almost always leadership that is missing or misguided.

Good leadership helps to drive us into good places — and onto common ground.

Bad leadership helps to drive us into bad places — and onto battlegrounds.

Critical to sports, as in much of life, are leadership and drive, passion and partisanship. Yesterday’s game showcased a lot of both.

But the most meaningful moment I saw there was in the stands when a Commander’s fan came back to his seat and handed a beer to the Steelers fan he’d been jawing with.

Good leadership helps passion and partisanship find common ground.

And sometimes it’s as simple as buying a guy a beer.